Relatively few habitancy wouldn't find the story relayed in the Biblical Book of the Exodus other than riveting - they don't write stories like that anymore. Alas, anything can put words down on paper, that doesn't of necessity make those words true. And while our libraries and bookstores are full of books clearly identified as fiction, I'm sure none of you would believe for a itsybitsy that all of the books in the non-fiction sections consist of only the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The request arises, is the Bible in general, and for the purposes of this essay the section called Exodus, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, or perhaps something less, even a lot less, that that?
The Main Characters In Exodus
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Moses, Part One: Moses is an old age pensioner to the tune of four score years. He's commanded by God to undertake assorted tasks. I'll have more to say about his bona-fides later on, but for now I'll just note that Moses was most nothing else but not the author of "Exodus" since that text was not committed to 'paper' until many centuries after-the-'fact'. And there's itsybitsy doubt that the version that we know today is a copy of a copy of a copy and a translation of a translation of a translation.
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Pharaoh X: The "X", as all the time stands for "unknown" because nobody has a clue exactly which Pharaoh was the Pharaoh of the Exodus. For some nothing else but inexcusable reason, assuming of policy we're dealing with history and not fairy tales, the Egyptian Pharaoh part and parcel of all of this 'history' - Hebrew or Israelite slaves, gentle negations with Moses, plagues, etc. - is totally unnamed! That's like historical texts saying some American President X committed Nasa to land a man on the on the Moon and return him safely to Earth before 1970 but those historical records forget which President. The Pharaoh in request might have been Ramesses Ii (otherwise known as Ramesses the Great). He is determined to be by punters the odds-on favourite, but there is no documentary or archaeological evidence that Ramesses Ii had any involvement with any of these happenings. Besides, Ramesses Ii being of sound mind and ego left all sorts of historical records about him for archaeologists thousands of years later to record. Sorry, no Israelites, slaves or otherwise. Anyway, Ramesses Ii has five other Pharaohs in competition for the 'honor' of being the Pharaoh of the Exodus. Pick a card; any card.
God: The Almighty deity who works in mysterious, contradictory, illogical and unethical ways. This God is a god of Israel and the Israelites and only of Israel and her citizens.
The Mission God Gives Moses
God, who on a tape recorded message that was incommunicable behind a burning bush* up on the Mount Sinai of the Bible (God's never nothing else but seen) addresses Moses: "Good morning, Moses. Your mission if you choose to accept [and by God you'd better, or else] is to journey to Egypt and negotiate with Pharaoh X the issue of some Hebrew slaves (the Israelites - my chosen people) and guide them to the Land of Canaan (the Promised Land). I'm sending your brother Aaron to assist you. Feel free to impress Pharaoh X with some impressive parlour tricks so he'll know how powerful you are. Oh, by the way, on the way back stop off here again at my Mount Sinai. I have something for you. This tape will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck Moses."
Good luck nothing else but for our all-knowing God knows full well Moses will get Pharaoh X's middle finger. God knew he'd have to resort to some good old fashion smiting in order to make Pharaoh X see the error of his ways, and no doubt God relished the occasion to keep in institution with his smiting techniques.
And so it came to pass that Pharaoh X nothing else but told Moses where to go and what to do to himself when he got there! So much for Plan A's minor 'snake and staff' parlour tricks advent - on to Plan B and time to get serious with some nothing else but real impressive parlour tricks (with more than a itsybitsy bit of help from the Almighty) - the ten plagues.
The Ten Plagues
We've all learned about the ten plagues inflicted on Egypt and her citizens. Alas, and surprisingly, the ten plagues aren't recorded in antique Egyptian historical texts. Sure, antique Egypt suffered several natural disasters, the Nile over-flooding or not flooding enough; droughts and famines, but hardly anything akin to the rapid succession of all manner of other calamities the Bible relates - blood, frogs, lice, flies, pestilence, boils, hail, locusts, darkness and death to the firstborn. Historians don't have a bar of these plague tales since there's not the remotest shred of hardcore evidence for them. Natural explanations can nothing else but catalogue for these as happening over the very long term as disassociated events - I mean there's nothing supernatural about hail, frogs, lice, flies, pestilence, locusts or alga blooms (blood). Darkness can ensue from solar eclipses to ash clouds from volcanic eruptions to regularly overcast conditions.
As for the last plague, God directly smites the firstborn (including the firstborn of livestock for some nothing else but unfathomable guess humane societies need to comment on), of all and sundry Egyptians (sparing of policy the Israelites), in direct violation of his commandment "Thou shall not kill". Wow, God of the duplicate standard is an absolute understatement in this context.
You'd think that if a foreign deity (to the Egyptians) had smite the Egyptians with those ten plagues (or even just the final one - the straw that broke Pharaoh X's back) that there would have, again, been some narrative of it in antique Egyptian inscriptions. No! You'd think God would have been the branch of some of those paramount Egyptian revenge spells and curses, for after all they only affected the Egyptians, not the Israelites. Apparently that's not the case.
Verdict: The ten plagues are whether un-associated events widely separated in time or pure fiction. I'd opt for pure fiction due to a lack of documentation in Egypt's historical records.
Those Israelite Or Hebrew Slaves
What Israelite Slaves? No such habitancy has been recorded in Egyptian history and the antique Egyptians kept rigorous records as only obsessed accountants can. However, we'll go with the Exodus flow and note that the ten plagues ultimately convinced Pharaoh X to let God's chosen habitancy go. Well, sort of. One sure request arises however. Since Pharaoh X was the lone obstacle, why was it significant to take out atrocities on the ordinary Egyptian habitancy totally ignorant of what was going on and why - ditto those livestock? I mean subjecting Pharaoh X to several hours of heavy metal or rap music (God would have foreseen those 'musical' styles arrival to pass) should have done the torture trick without undue ethical consequences. Regardless, and after-the-fact, Pharaoh X changed his mind and sent out his army and army's chariots to bring 'em back dead or alive - well probably alive since a dead slave isn't of any use, even to a Pharaoh. High Noon was at the Red Sea, or was that the Sea of Reeds?
Verdict: antique Egypt did not; repeat did not, put to work any Israelii slaves.
Is It The Red Sea Or The Reed Sea?
Assuming the accuracy of Exodus up to this point (which I don't), there's dispute about the crossing of That body of water by the escaping Israelites and the drowning of Pharaoh X's pursuing army. The Kjv of the Bible does nothing else but say "Red sea". However scholars suggest that it was, if there has to be a 'was', the Reed Sea or Sea of Reeds, that marshy area part and parcel of the northeast Delta region of Egypt.
Why the confusion for such an important, unique, even historical event? - If it happened of course. And how could it happen?
Verdict: it didn't happen. If the antique Egyptians had had that many of their army wiped out, there would be a bona-fide historical narrative of it inscribed somewhere in some manner in antique Egyptian writings or inscriptions. And claims that the remains of Egyptian chariots have been found on the Red Sea seabed have proven to be total nonsense and pseudo-archaeology. Any bona-fide archaeologist would sell their soul to the devil for such a discovery - an army's worth of Egyptian war chariots from that era at the bottom of the Red Sea. They'd become as paramount as Howard Carter of King Tut fame or Heinrich Schliemann who found and uncovered Troy. To confirm the Exodus via corporeal archaeological evidence would be worthy of a Nobel Prize - if they gave one for archaeology or history of course.
The Parting Of The Waters
But assuming this unique geographical parting of the waters event happened, perhaps a massively strong wind or an earthquake might have complete the task naturally, but the texts (Exodus and other Biblical references) don't report any such natural soldiery at work at the time. Apparently Moses waved his arms about and did the hokey-pokey and the rest as they say is history. Of policy mortal men cannot part the waters, so again whether we have an uncited natural event; or a real God behind the scenes, waiting in the wings offstage pulling the actual strings; or yet again, an lesson of pure fiction.
Verdict: pure fiction.
Ten Commandments - Round One
On the road in the middle of Egypt and the Promised Land, following the parting of the waters, Moses made that requested stopover back at Mount Sinai to pick up God's offering. As a repaymen for his return patronage to this mountain resort he's given some rather heavy stone tablets - the Ten Commandments. For some guess this took forty days and nights (perhaps some confusion here with Noah?).
Now some questions arise here. How come it takes nearly six weeks to write down the Ten Commandments? God should have had the tablets already made up and ready to hand to our 80 years old pensioner. If not that, it should have been no great issue to create them in six minutes, being an Almighty and all that. It wouldn't have taken Superman even that long - more like six seconds for the man in the cape who wears his underwear on the outside.
In any event, if God had gotten a move on and if Moses had of hurried back down the mountain tablets in hand it would have been a good thing and saved a lot of strife because in his lengthy six week absence, his followers, the great Israelite unwashed and Hebrew rabble, got up to a lot of mischief, ultimately pissing off God and Moses too.
Apparently to wile away their 'idle' time, brother Aaron, watching over the flock, passed colse to the variety plate and gathered up all of the metals in their possession and using same, created themselves a real idol - a golden calf apparently. Now how on earth this motley crowd could do developed metallurgy (melting and casting) in the wilderness is beyond me. Anyway, idols are a big no-no in God's eye so that bit of mischief was a nothing else but bad move.
But let's return for a moment back up the mountain and to those six weeks. Apparently while waiting, Moses took the occasion to go on a diet and didn't eat or drink for the duration. Or maybe God was a bad host. You'd of notion God might have some manna to spare or some loaves and fishes to share with Moses. God nothing else but is a rather poor host. Just because God doesn't need to eat or drink - a major blunder Imho.
Verdict: Well, let's face the logic. The logic is that this whole scenario is 100% illogical. It just never happened.
Ten Commandments - Round Two
Alas, in a fit of temper, Moses, upon returning to ground level and those former Israelite slaves, spotted the golden calf, that no-no idol, threw a tantrum and unfortunately broke those original rather heavy stone tables - Que instant reply here. Yes, our old aged pensioner now returns to the site on Mount Sinai, but this time having to lug up the mountain some fresh stone tablets for God's finger to write upon. Anyway he gets a carbon copy (or photocopy) of those heavy stone tablets. This time, upon his return from the mountain top, carrying those heavy stones, he didn't do a butterfingers and drop the dishes and so the Ten Commandments ultimately made its rightful way to those in need of such instructions, those Israelites, obviously a rather amoral lot since they create idols and such. Why these great amoral unwashed should be God's chosen habitancy is beyond me, but hey, we all love to cheer on the underdog. And slaves freed from bondage, then being chased by the Egyptian army, enduring hardships in the wilderness, are a first-rate case of the underdog striving to and arrival out on top - at least for a itsybitsy while. But the hardships weren't over with yet, not by a long shot. freedom was still other forty years away.
Verdict: If the scenario surrounding the Ten Commandments, Round One has no basis in historical fact, then the sequel is a case of déjà vu all over again. No one disputes that there are Ten Commandments in the Bible, plus a whole lot of supplementary "thou shall" and "thou shall nots" as well. whether or not they came from a deity or not is neither here nor there, but a good case can be made for the dos and don'ts having a less than supernatural origin. The issue here is the method of delivery.
The Biblical Mount Sinai
I procure we leave Mount Sinai of the Exodus behind at this point. It's too bad some of the chosen habitancy didn't choose to mark the location on a map. To add insult to injury, not only are Moses and the story to date iffy, so is the location of the Mount Sinai of the Bible itself. The Biblical Mount Sinai should not to be confused with an actual Mount Sinai near Saint Catherine and Mount St. Catherine way, way to the south of the Sinai Peninsula and thus far off the beaten path prominent to the Promised Land. nothing else but God would have positioned himself somewhere along the most direct, most logical, route in the middle of lower Egypt (northern Egypt) and the Land of Canaan (well to the northeast) and not require his chosen habitancy to go southeast to the real Mount Sinai then backtrack northeast - that's hundreds of miles out of their way. It would be like travelling from Chicago to Seattle via the Grand Canyon!
Modern scholars differ as to the exact geographical position of the Biblical Mount Sinai which has ranged from the Sinai Peninsula to the Negev to Saudi Arabia to Petra and beyond. A lot of the turn over centers on whether or not you recognize the Biblical Mount Sinai with a volcano, in that the Biblical (Exodus) version of Mount Sinai is linked with lots of smoke, fire and brimstone. In any event, no one can nothing else but recognize it for sure with any definite geographical location of an elevated nature (so we can't go and have a look-see for ourselves at that non-combustible yet ever burning bush or see where the rock was quarried by God for those original, now busted, stone tablets). So there! Tough luck! Hard cheddar! Sorry 'bout that!
Verdict: Something is screwy somewhere!
Forty Years In The Wilderness: Wtf?
God's still pretty cheesed off at his chosen habitancy and so in yet other fit of temper (God's constant temper tantrums nothing else but get boring after awhile) God condemns those ex-slaves to ramble colse to the wilderness, ever to be denied the Promised Land, rescue that for their kiddies (actual or eventual) instead. If God ordered you to spend forty years wandering about aimlessly in the desert wilderness would you say "Yes, scholar - anything you command Master" or something a tad more unprintable like "#@&*#%" along with a sure jester intelligent the middle digit of the hand? Assuming those involved weren't physically restrained, it hardly takes forty years to get from Egypt to the Promised Land. There seems nothing else but no point to God's instruction. He wanted his habitancy to get to the Land of Canaan so why delay things with this punishment. God of the duplicate standard is also God with rocks in the middle of his ears. In any event, you'd get rather sick and tired of a manna diet after forty days, far less forty years worth! I mean it's just bread, even if honey-sweet. I'm sure any modern day nutritionist would frown on anything undertaking a manna-only diet for forty years! Even airline food would be a heavy improvement, had they had airline fare back in those days.
Verdict: forty years in the wilderness is fiction, pure fiction, without any archaeological evidence to back up anything to the contrary. Even if you only made one mile a day and headed in just one direction, say the direction of the rising Sun, you'd be out of any desert wilderness way, way, way before forty years came and went.
And by-the-by, what's with this Biblical obsession with the whole forty? Quite apart from Noah, and the examples cited above, we have our central character, Moses, who was twice forty when called upon by God to come out of relinquishment and thrice forty when Moses kicked the bucket.
Moses, Part Two
First off, there is no evidence anything for the existence of Moses. Moses, as well as the veracity of the Exodus story in which he prominently features is disputed surrounded by archaeologists and those well versed with the history of antique Egypt. You won't find so much as one hieroglyph with his name attached. Now that's a tad surprising. Even if Moses isn't Egyptian social enemy whole one, he's still was on their ten most wanted list.
Now we come to the birth and discovery of baby Moses. You know the story of the floating basket and related, but it's pure plagiarism at worst, reinventing the wheel at best. There's nothing even remotely original about it. The original first generation tale is attributed to what happened to baby [future King] Sargon (a nothing else but real historical shape without any question), the first empire manufacturer in the Mesopotamian region. King Sargon (2330 - 2280 Bce) forged the Akkadian Empire, establishing the capital of Agade in Akkad - look it up and check it out. King Sargon rates a mention in the Bible by the way as a king of Assyria.
That aside, Moses was already ten years past his regularly allotted lifespan when God gave him his commission and marching orders to free those apparent, but unverified, Hebrew slaves. If the standard lifespan allowance is 'three score and ten', why pick on an old age pensioner of four score years? Maybe gentle talent and those able to perform parlour tricks was just a bit thin on the ground. But really, in an era without air travel or air conditioned road transport, would you pick on an 80 year old to undertake not only the initial gentle task but feel all that followed? Recall, with respect to the Ten Commandments, this is an 80 year old pensioner who after forty days and nights on a starvation diet, dying of thirst, is asked to carry down off a mountain two large stone tablets, something even a fighting fit 30 year old (even without the diet) would be huffing-and-puffing over.
Finally, in an ending worthy of the many tear-jerking Hollywood final, Moses snuffs it, kicks the bucket, at an age of six score years (120) just in sight of his goal - the Promised Land. Okay, hankies back in pocket! As I said in the beginning, they don't write them like that anymore!
Verdict: I think Moses is a figment of Biblical imagination, a beneficial fictional character to fulfil the assorted plot scenarios the unknown author intended, much like George Orwell manufactured Winston Smith as a required central character in his novel "1984", and Arthur Conan Doyle created Dr. Watson to help flesh out the Sherlock Holmes tales.
Conclusion
The Biblical Book of Exodus is worthy of a sci-fi Hugo Award. However, as nothing else but real history, it's not credible - in fact it's pure bovine fertilizer. There was no ten plagues; no Moses, no Hebrew slaves, no burning bush, no old age pensioner struggling to carry down (and later up) the mountain stone tablets, no wilderness exile, in fact no Exodus - exit stage left, the Exodus.
Now For Something Else thoroughly Different
Somewhat out of context here, but what I find puzzling is how a relatively minor deity, who let's face it was a worse tyrant or despot than Attila-the-Hun, with a relatively small constituency and control or jurisdiction over a relatively small geographical area could take over many of the hearts and minds of peoples from all over the globe. From God of Israel to God of Life, the Universe and everything is a pretty neat trick.
I think the answer, the appeal, is that previously nearly all cultures had nothing else but thousands of deities in payment of life, the universe and everything. It's far easier to adopt, remember the name, rituals and codes of one deity than those multi-thousands most other cultures had. Put it this way, your selection - memorise just 1 x 1, or else memorise the whole multiplication table through to say 25 x 25. It's your choice.
*To engage in a conversation with God via a burning bush intermediary must be one of the more inventive of the Almighty's scenarios. perhaps this must be some antique contrast on habitancy who talk to their pot plants - Prince Charles is in good company.
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